Wednesday, February 18, 2004
MADDUX TO BE A CUB
Thankfully the Cubs are going to sign Maddux. I shouldn't have let a report eminating from the great state of New Jersey cloud by judgement into thinking that the Yankees would sign him.
ESPN's Page 2 columnist brian simmons' 33 reactions to the A-rod deal. Truly an hilarious piece from a fellow Red Soxer that really puts the upcoming seaosn into perspective. Here are my favorites:
3. Consider this: No more Grady Little.
9. This will make you feel better: When I'm running ESPN6 some day, I'm going to have a show where Susie Essman shows up at Tom Hicks's front door and screams obscenities at him. When he goes to work, we're going to follow him, then she'll scream more obscenities at him. When the courts eventually become involved, she will stand 100 feet away from him with a bullhorn, and continue screaming obscenities at him. This will go on for as long as I'm running ESPN6. I promise you that.
12. Once again: No more Grady Little.
14. Now Dan Shaughnessy can update his "Curse of the Bambino" book for its 162nd printing ... clearly, he needs to make more money off this. God bless him. Do you think he patented the "Valentine's Day Massacre" phrase on Saturday at 2 p.m.?
17. No-mahhhhhhhhhhh! For everyone who doubted him and didn't mind the thought of him playing somewhere else -- like me, for instance -- isn't there at least a decent chance that he shoves it in everyone's face? Nothing would make me happier, with the possible exception of Julie from the "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" getting arrested for trying to unlock Veronica's safety harness two weeks ago (don't ask).
20. Another silver lining: This A-Rod fiasco made us realize that Ben Affleck needs to be stopped. I loved "Good Will Hunting" as much as anyone, but did you see him ranting and raving at the Daytona 500? Since when did Ben Affleck become The Voice of Red Sox Fans? Who nominated him? Would a true Sox fan ever propose to a chick with a big ass from the Bronx? In a million years? I really think we should vote on this -- let's have an election and everything. Ben Affleck needs to be stopped. I'm not kidding.
(Note: I give him props for fucking J-Lo)
21. Seriously ... no more Grady Little.
29. Playing second base this season ... Enrique Wilson. I don't even have a joke here.
30. At some point during the season, someone will be bright enough to make a "Yankees Most Wanted" deck of playing cards, along the lines of those Iraqi cards last spring. And we can play poker with them and bash the Yankees and stuff. I look forward to it.
31. Just in case you forgot ... no more Grady Little.
Good stuff
Post #116
Thankfully the Cubs are going to sign Maddux. I shouldn't have let a report eminating from the great state of New Jersey cloud by judgement into thinking that the Yankees would sign him.
ESPN's Page 2 columnist brian simmons' 33 reactions to the A-rod deal. Truly an hilarious piece from a fellow Red Soxer that really puts the upcoming seaosn into perspective. Here are my favorites:
3. Consider this: No more Grady Little.
9. This will make you feel better: When I'm running ESPN6 some day, I'm going to have a show where Susie Essman shows up at Tom Hicks's front door and screams obscenities at him. When he goes to work, we're going to follow him, then she'll scream more obscenities at him. When the courts eventually become involved, she will stand 100 feet away from him with a bullhorn, and continue screaming obscenities at him. This will go on for as long as I'm running ESPN6. I promise you that.
12. Once again: No more Grady Little.
14. Now Dan Shaughnessy can update his "Curse of the Bambino" book for its 162nd printing ... clearly, he needs to make more money off this. God bless him. Do you think he patented the "Valentine's Day Massacre" phrase on Saturday at 2 p.m.?
17. No-mahhhhhhhhhhh! For everyone who doubted him and didn't mind the thought of him playing somewhere else -- like me, for instance -- isn't there at least a decent chance that he shoves it in everyone's face? Nothing would make me happier, with the possible exception of Julie from the "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" getting arrested for trying to unlock Veronica's safety harness two weeks ago (don't ask).
20. Another silver lining: This A-Rod fiasco made us realize that Ben Affleck needs to be stopped. I loved "Good Will Hunting" as much as anyone, but did you see him ranting and raving at the Daytona 500? Since when did Ben Affleck become The Voice of Red Sox Fans? Who nominated him? Would a true Sox fan ever propose to a chick with a big ass from the Bronx? In a million years? I really think we should vote on this -- let's have an election and everything. Ben Affleck needs to be stopped. I'm not kidding.
(Note: I give him props for fucking J-Lo)
21. Seriously ... no more Grady Little.
29. Playing second base this season ... Enrique Wilson. I don't even have a joke here.
30. At some point during the season, someone will be bright enough to make a "Yankees Most Wanted" deck of playing cards, along the lines of those Iraqi cards last spring. And we can play poker with them and bash the Yankees and stuff. I look forward to it.
31. Just in case you forgot ... no more Grady Little.
Good stuff
Post #116
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